The Martian War On Christmas
The attack we don't talk about.
AYNE will be on hiatus for the next two weeks. Look for a new newsletter on January 11, 2023. Enjoy your holidays!
Thanks for reading Are You Not Entertained?! Subscribe for free to receive new posts and support my work.
There’s a good chance you’ve heard of Santa Claus Conquers the Martians. It’s one of those movies that’s so bad it’s become the stuff of legend.
One thing that sets it apart from its fellow crappy films is that it allegedly wasn’t a box office failure. Then again, many mid-60s children and sci-fi movies are pretty bad.
Another is that it’s Pia Zadora’s first movie.
That’s her on the right. I’ll let you decide whether her being in the cast is Alanis-Morissette-ironic or not.
Also, the Martians bear a strange resemblance to the Great Gazoo, who appeared on The Flintstones a year later in 1965.
The Great Gazoo however, was voiced by Harvey Korman, and got the show banned in a few countries. So he’s funnier before you even see him on the show.
Santa Claus Conquers the Martians is public domain now, so you can find it everywhere. But the best way to see this movie is with the help of Mystery Science Theater 3000. They make anything watchable; even the Star Wars prequels. I actually stayed awake during their take on Attack of the Clones after sleeping through the second half twice.
You can see their legendary riff on Santa Claus Conquers the Martians for free if you have Amazon Prime. It’s available as part of Amazon Prime with Shout! Factory (sic), which offers a free trial.
That’s my Christmas present to you.
See you next year.